secrets...

people has secrets...
i mean who doesn't?i for one have alot that i don't even want to know.
speaking of that.i cannot wei.too much stuff can overload my brain especially when i am now having other things on my mind.please lah.too much information will die one loh.i seriously dying now.

be who u wan to be

Keep eyes open

Keep heart close

One day someone will come

Someone who truly loves you

For being you yourself

Until then

Enjoy your singular life

Where friends abound

Love where you are now

Be who you want to be

I know I suck at poetry.haha.

jus frens...

can boys n girls be just friends?according to a friend of mine,yes.according to another,no.
why is it so complicated?first thing that flashed to my mind is made of honour.but in the end both of them fell in love together and end up getting married.now i think that ending is not good.somehow it's impossible.then the song that jason mraz and colbie caillat sings together comes to mind again...lucky...about falling in love with ur best friend.is it that happily ever after?i don't believe.
another one told me about how she is crushing on someone who talked to her for a few hours.once.after tat they never talk again.is it counted?is the guy really interested in her?how to see whether a guy is interested in you?i couldn't give answer,i have no experience.i just question...haha
then again what about those people who wants two person at one time?isn't that abit too greedy?i think it's not fair if you said that if another one doesn't work out,at least got another back up.so if a guy rejected you,then you go to another one,is it fair?the guy will be forever your backup guy.
life is easy but unpredictable.it depends on how you handle the stuff life thrown at you.

lonely in the dark

lonely in the dark
suffocated in the bright

only in the dark
only i can see
only i realised
what i feel

only in the bright
i feel so confused
i feel so intimidated
i feel my way around
why can't i see?

chance

fate bring us together
we may not know wat future holds
if there's a chance,
will we be together?

my heart seems to close
will it ever open itself
to another being
why is it so hard?

for now i am sure
there's no chance
let it be
if it's fated
let it be

i give up figuring boys.it's no easy way to communicate with them.yes we girls have more emotional range.that doesn't mean they are easy to understand either.i can't help it but wonder if there's a guide book to guide us to find the 'one'.if we want to find the 'one',we go through so many guys,what's the purpose?if we are waiting for the 'one' and still waiting and waiting,wouldn't we be ending up a spinster?guys if not married called bachelor while girls called spinster.go figre.
my father wants me to find a boyfriend so that he can relax.he worried that his little girl cannot find a husband.my mother wants me to see when it's suitable then only be in a relationship.however, i am too blur to know when the guy is interested in me or not.how would i know?i know how to make friends but love stuff?i couldn't.who else knows that getting a relationship is as hard as leaving a relationship.maybe i am doomed to be alone but i would like a taste of what it's like.to be able to feel how's it's like to be loved.haha me drowsy and blurr d.

now what if a girl was interested in a guy who has a girlfriend?somehow all the good guys got girlfriend.what happened then?
haha too much ranting d.gota go do essay

so what?

alot of incidents happened today that pissed me off.first of all, i finished my essay at 3 am in the morning.i think my essay is good enough to be passed up. happily i go and email my draft to the lecturer.i manage to sleep at 4 am but i hav a lecture at 9.guess i have to wake up at 8.how many hours of sleep?4 hours onli loh.so i decided to skip the first lecture.
when i woke up at 9, a friend of mine message that the lecture is taking attendance.wat the?rush to uni to find out from another friend that it's best not to go into lecture hall.waited outside.go for second lecture to find out that it's actually ok to go into the lecture late.sigh.wat the?
boring two lectures afterwards,went to get lunch and then on to workshop.i didn't manage to finish my workshop because the room is so hot with minimal airconditioning.halo?u guys earn alot from us d.can u jus please on the aircon?
then i receive an email from my lecturer.she said that my essay is too messy and i have to meet her.great,just what i needed.so i went to print my essay out to be corrected by my lecturer,met a guy.a very gossipy guy who doesn't believe i don't have a boyfriend.yes i don't.so what?

songs i listened to (me like eisley)

eisley is a band that i listened to when i am studying or doing my project. it is not mainstream and how i came across this band is when i was shopping in roxy.i heard a song that vibed with me and i asked the sales person wat's the name of the singer.he said 'ashley'.i goes 'uhhh ashley simpson?' thinking nope this is not ashley simpson bcos i listened to her songs aso. then he was like 'nooooo e-i-s-l-e-y' which he repeated a few times until i got it correct.
i specifically like taking control.it's tat period when i am trying to take control of my life.i particularly like when i online in msn,it shows on my personal message that i was listening to taking control.haha
eisley is more abit country vibe n rock n roll which i like.not too headbanging but still manage to keep me awake.
another band i like is paramore.the song i love is crushcrushcrush where it talks about guy n girl pretending n not being able to be true to themselves.
sometimes we need songs to express how feel rite?
another artiste i listened to is mandy moore in her latest album wild hope.
tat totali describe wat i was feeling last year.mellow,sad,despondent,emotional,depressed,angry
she totali hates her first album according to an interview she has done.she offered to give money back if somebody bought her first album.however i beg to differ.her first album is pop and she is good in singing all the songs.the songs is not good but her voice is good and i just love to hear her sing.wild hope is more countryish.
i aso listened to carrie underwood,taylor swift,duffy=)

desperate people

a girl i know wants to get a boyfriend real bad.really really really bad.she's not ugly,she's not pretty.but she's from perak.according to her,perak is a factory for making pretty girls but don't look at her.i think she is adopted if she keep on saying that.she also mentioned that her mother is very pretty in her younger days...(really think she is adopted)
anyway,she wants a boyfriend but somehow all guys manage to slip away from her grasp.she goes to extend that alot of guys want her.if really all guys want her,then why is she still single?too choosy and picky,well she could only attract her own kind rite?wahahaha. she even goes to the extend tat she rejected who-who-who.(poor guy,until now i don't believe wat she says)
she said she went on a date with a guy.i aso don't believe tat.i think the guy is cheated into going lunch with her and she treated it as a date while the guy didn't.hahaha
so when in university,she is determined to find one bf.she even go to the extent of chasing one.one that is so good in criterias, it's quite impossible.some guys doesn't even want to hav girlfriend.she chased chased chased,guy don't give respond.in the end she tell him her feelings.result=kena rejected.now?don't friend with the guys anymore(shake head)
why lah want to go tell?why wan to have now?at least enjoy single life.it's not that bad.with friends all around,i don't think u will be lonely.in fact, u don't even hav time for yourself.
she is quite pretending all the time.if girls,she show one face(not a good one).guys...be careful,she show another face tat is so fake we girls want to throw up.then she act she's very very gentle when in truth she is as harsh,spoilt,blah blah blah.
not that i am gentle.i am quite tomboyish also.loves sports till no end but studies come first now.
i need to go do my essay again
rolls eyes

two face people

i witness one particular event today.a girl is talking to another girl about going shopping and clubbing together.tat girl is talking on and on and on about how malaysia's mega sale is coming to an end and she feels like clubbing.the other girl jus layan her selamba sahaja.the point is,at the end of the conversation, the other girl promise to sms her later about the plan.when she went out of the earshot,the other girl said she is banyak bising
of course this particular girl who is writing this blog is guilty of it sometimes but not to this extent.i will just try to be nice even if i am damn pissed off(by other stuff or by another person).cordial,yes.backstabbing at the back?nope unless she started it first.then hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.i know how to spread words...
are we two face people?guys said we girls are the best in doing this.we don't like a particular person,we still manage to pretend.i don't think it is pretending.it is more like manners.even if you don't like a person,do you want the whole world to know?i don;t want to start a catfight.might as well go study instead.
so if the person(a girl more likely) has the body language ... you know wat i mean.don't bother trying making conversation.ignore her even better!

finish!!!

i finish editing my essay!however i still need to go to school tomorrow to put finishing touches on it. perfectionist perfectionist perfectionist.i can go crazy because of assignments!give me exams anytime.
i have to start another essay.going crazy now...i still have to study.

cologne

i smelled like cologne spilled on me.in a sense it was kinda true.i touched a puddle of cologne/perfume when i want to reach for my fav sugary biscuits in carrefour.i cannot get rid of the smell eventhough i use antibacterial soap twice.waste of water and soap and so not environmental friendly.i am trying to do my part here!for example trying to recycle all my clothes.not by wearing,more like use to mop floor.wahahaha
this reminds me of perfume the story of a murderer (or something).everybody has a smell except for the murderer and he killed people(young virgin girls) to get their scent and people have orgasm just by smelling it(ok i am exagerating).the point is perfume can influence the mind.see the power of smell.pheromones...i think i am seriously lacking in them.can't seem to attract the guys but if i got a lot of guys going after me,i will be having a headache also.hahaha the two options are not good.the best is find a bf....lalala sorry i love myself too much to do that.dad mom i know u mean good but seriously i think i am sufficiently independent to be able to take care of myself.worst come to worst,i can adopt right.somebody did that.no problem at all.hahaha
anyway i got lots of great shows and friends to keep me occupied.like i watched my sassy girl even it's not out yet.don't ask don't tell(never reveal your sources).it's cool but it's completely the same as the korean movie.sigh why don't they just distribute the korean movie with english subtitle.we.malaysian survive just fine without listening to it in malay(imagine the horror of it being made to malay movie)we watch subtitles like nobody business.i think it's just me.too used to tvb dramas and the horrendous malay subtitles.now i cannot seem to turn it off.even though i sit like two seats infront of the screen in the cinema,i am squinting my eyes at the subtitles.i can hear perfectly fine but old habits die hard.
as you can see,i am blogging not writing my essay.
so on to ampang medikal.now that is one show i gota catch.but wat's the point if it's going to be the same as grey's anatomy.mcdreamy and mcsteamy are one of the reasons i am watching the show.another reason is i want to see how can life suck for meredith grey when she seems to have everything?money,love,beauty blah blah blah.stop complaining and do more medical stuff will ya!
then sex and the city was like 2 hours marathon of the show although it did wrap up the tv shows hanging ending.thank god they are together.maybe fairytales do happened(in movies) after so many hardships.
wall.e is ... silent .... where the storyline is weird.to me.i canot digest it.it's cold n metallic.
step up is still nicer than any other dance movie i have watch.
the lost room is very very heart pumping adrenalin rush grab your mind twist it around and the idea of those objects were so fascinating.
i sound like an addict to shows and dramas and movies.
in truth,reality are too boring.
that's why we need fiction to spice up your life.

superhero

what a waste of time.i spent 1 hour n a half to watch superhero movie.horrendous, horrible, stupid.
basicali those 3 words sum it up.
i can't believe i watch it.i just wanted to know how bad it can be.i am not going to watch any of these kind of movies again.over my dead body!
i still hav to write my essay.i should go and write now.
but i shall watch scrubs first
i am too addicted to shows!

first writings

jus watch olympic closing ceremony.what a disappointing show.studpid rtm channels.why do they want to cut short a perfectly fine show?
that's the way in malaysia.
even our ktm is faring no better.stupid train company.delayed and late,count on it...always
i hate those people behind ktm.why can't they learn fromother countries?
see how ppl do?how they improve?
i love sakura wars.watched it long time ago and love the soundtracks...
love anime,love movies, love tv shows...hahaha
yea i m crazy sometimes
but i study hard
this is my first blog here
i am watching bring it on which i already forgotten the story line since i watched it years ago.
and i wan to catch wat's up with ampang medical.